As you become more aware of your needs and wants, another layer to become aware of is your RELATIONSHIP to your needs and wants. What does that mean?
Let’s consider your needs and wants neutral, and focus on how you are relating to your needs and wants. Are you relating to them in an avoidant way, trying not to need or want them? Are you anxiously holding onto your needs and wants, trying to control the situation so that you can have them met at any cost?
How do you talk to yourself about your needs and wants… “I can’t have this.” “I deserve this” “It’s impossible for me to get this need met.” Pay close attention to these phrases and they will tell you how you are relating to your needs and wants. What if this wasn’t at all about your needs and wants? What if your needs and wants are relentless just as the mind has relentless thoughts? What if the way you are relating to your needs and wants is actually the key, and by identifying this relationship and the stories you have around it, you get a glimpse into your mind and the stories you are telling yourself.